If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
