Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
