Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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