Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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