help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just tell him i said nine months
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
pop tarts are not kleenex
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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