I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So here I am, sexting at work.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
