I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
