i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
