The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
