I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize