yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
