Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
