You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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