I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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