is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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