Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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