i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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