Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
