the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
