I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize