How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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