Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Vodka?
Forever.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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