things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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