FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
