Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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