so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
