And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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