everyone is single if you try hard enough
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
