I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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