i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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