She's JV to your varsity
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
