So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
