Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
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I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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