somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
