Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
