dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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