If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
