you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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