do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
