East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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