Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
