dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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