Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
