I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
