if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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