worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
