Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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