I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
