Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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