I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
