My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
