drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
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so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
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His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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