I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Someone signed my nipple.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize