you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
operation have a gay friend backfired
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
