You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize