I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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