I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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