none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I died a long time ago.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
