Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
