I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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