Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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