And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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