Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
