I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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