I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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