if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
